Man Beaten for Farting in Woman’s Face
In a story that could only come out of South Carolina (and possibly Alabama), a man was allegedly beaten for farting in a woman’s face. The woman was 33 year-old Jessica Cerney and the man was 64 year-old Darrell McKnight. Now, reread that last sentence. Based on the subject of this news story, I feel like it’s fairly obvious where this is going. First of all, the guy is 64 years old. He’s beyond being able or caring to control his farts. Secondly, what in the world could their relationship be? Sadly, the story does not say.
What it does describe is how McKnight came home drunk around 7:45 one evening and for reasons known only to himself, he farted in Cerney’s face. Not in her general direction, mind you, but full on right in her face. What could have caused such an outburst is unclear. And you can take that any way you want. The point is that this seems unprovoked. And what’s more, Cerney apparently left the house after said fart attack and was followed by Darrell McKnight. At this point, he’s really just asking for it.
According to Cerney, her farting foe approached her in a “threatening manner”. I like to think that means he was walking towards her ass-first as though to poot on her again but I imagine she means he was threatening to attack her physically. So Cerney punched this guy three times right in the face. Once for coming home drunk, once for farting, and once for coming outside and threatening her. Well, I made that last part up, but it sounds about right.
The wind-breaker Darrell McKnight was taken to the hospital for a swollen eye and both people were charged with disorderly conduct fighting. Say what you will about Jessica Cerney, she doesn’t take any shit. Gas or otherwise.http://www.samproof.tv/2014/08/27/man-beaten-for-farting-in-womans-face/https://i1.wp.com/www.samproof.tv/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/n-JESSICA-large.jpg?fit=260%2C190https://i1.wp.com/www.samproof.tv/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/n-JESSICA-large.jpg?fit=150%2C109Weird Newsarrest,blog,comedy,criminal,dumb,fart,fight,funny,News,weird,writingIn a story that could only come out of South Carolina (and possibly Alabama), a man was allegedly beaten for farting in a woman's face. The woman was 33 year-old Jessica Cerney and the man was 64 year-old Darrell McKnight. Now, reread that last sentence. Based on the subject...Zack BesedaZack BesedaZack.Beseda@gmail.comAuthorZack Beseda is a writer comedian in Los AngelesSam Proof